Nurturing a sense of ‘home’ with boundaries
September 2019 Full Moon Journal
Wow, what a full-on month. Was it for you too? It feels like the pace is picking up, whether we’re ready or not, to project us into this last quarter of the year. When overwhelm looms, I turn to what’s important in my life to regain perspective on what’s worth my energy and what isn’t. If you can’t control or influence it, let it go. If it’s not important, it’s not important.
In today’s ‘you can have/be/do anything you want’ times the greatest freedom is in choosing your restrictions. It’s in choosing what you won’t do, what you won’t become and what you don’t need. This frees your energy and attention for you to devote to what’s important to you.
The people, places and practices that you hold dear are also held by the boundaries you set in place to protect them. For example, the people in my life accept me for who I am, as does my decision to not be around people that don’t. The places that soothe and connect me to life, receive the life that I’ve chosen to bring to them, more than the places that drain me. The practices that I hold to be sacred, (yes, Coffee, that means you) are important because I enjoy them, and they make me better. That includes the demolishingly humbling experience of writing and sharing my thoughts with others. I truly do appreciate you taking the time to read this and pray that it’s useful or entertaining for you. Even that though, I can’t control so I can only do my best, be honest and try not to sound like too much of an arse 😉
“Boundaries are the structures that support you and who you want to be. Inner boundaries protect how you relate with yourself and your world, while outer boundaries are how you allow the world to relate to you.”Earthtide Tarot
When we think of boundaries, we usually think of confrontation and assertiveness, though boundaries are also simply the line that surrounds your home. Boundaries encircle your personal space like a hug, protecting and describing your Soul’s home. You can have white-picket or barbed-wire fences, wide open spaces or hedgerows in full bloom around your home; it’s your creative choice how you design and define your space in this world.
Rather than hoping that others will see and respect how you prefer your life without you having to say it, you step into your own personal style by taking ownership of who you are. We all decide how much responsibility we’ll take for the ‘home’ of our heart, body, mind and overall wellbeing.
Imagine your energy and attention were your ‘home’; would you allow that news bulletin to walk through your house, or that Facebook thread to have a party in your lounge? How ‘bout that frenemy opinion that’s hogging your mirror or sugar-laden E number that makes you feel like sh*t every time you see it? It’s your home. You don’t have to let them in. Even if something or someone has been in your home for a long time, it doesn’t mean they have the right to stay.
“We often absorb others’ ideas of what’s right and wrong until we begin to recognise our own truth. Choosing to define who you are and who you’re not is your very own declaration of freedom.”Earthtide Tarot
We all have those that push our boundaries; some in a good way, some not so much. Most don’t know they’re doing it; some do and take pleasure in our discomfort. As much as we’d all like to build a cocoon around us at times; people are like computers. If you try to avoid learning their complicated programs, you no longer know how they work and put yourself at a disadvantage when you need to interact with them. You too, play your own unconscious programs on others and being accepted anyway is what connection is all about.
We can resent people when they push us (I know I’ve thought bad, bad things about gym instructors in the past when they say “gimme 5 more, c’mon!”). You’re given anger for a reason; it warns you of a boundary infraction. This could be an external ‘step off, you’re getting too close’ boundary, or an internal ‘I don’t want to hear, face or try this’ boundary. Even when people have your best interests at heart and push you because they know you can do it; you don’t know if you can do it, so you feel exposed, vulnerable and not in control. Protective mechanisms are triggered, anger floods your body with defensive energy to use as needed. Time can slow down as your conscious mind recedes and your subconscious, wilder self steps in. Your wild self is instinctual, courageous and not afraid of challenge. The more you know it, the more it knows your words and can speak for you in ways that help rather than hinder.
We can form healthy, supportive boundaries for ourselves anytime. It just takes practice, lots of practice. We sometimes mess up how we enforce them, we say too much or not enough, too sharply or with too many flowers around it, but we get a better at it each time. Our innocent hearts can be too accommodating as well, fearing that we’ll somehow steal from another’s space if we grow and step into the fullness of who we are. The Universe is boundless so you extending your boundaries doesn’t mean others have less space. You don’t restrict another’s growth by enjoying your own, even if they snap and snarl, their wild heart sees you. They see your limits extending out, with everything you love and stand for projecting from your heart and soul, inspiring them to do the same. When you grow, we all grow. The Universe grows.
“Boundaries uphold and support your personal power and energy. When you’re aligned with your best self, you feel energetic and strong, and your boundaries protect that connection. The better your boundaries, the more energy you can hold.”Earthtide Tarot
If you’re in the mood to explore, try asking yourself:
- What regular thoughts and actions do you have that would benefit from some healthy boundaries? What would a healthy boundary look like in each instance?
- What could you do or become with the energy you’d free up by implementing each of them?
- Who are the people that you feel good around? How do they show their respect for your boundaries and support your best self?
- What places revive you, even if only in your mind?
To work with the gathering energies of the moon, state your intention in the 3 nights leading up to full moon. It doesn’t need to be anything fancy, just look up and feel your desire for whatever change you wish to come to pass. Words from your heart mean the most. Take time to feel thankful for it already being in your life and look forward to an action that you’ll take that night or the next day towards it. The same is so for anything you wish to release, feel the relief that fills the space where the released feeling once was. You’re free. Feel the new thoughts that support who you are now, keep thinking them and they’ll become new supporting beliefs.
You’re more remarkable than you could ever know. Make magic through what you do and how you are, everyday.
Step into your own space my lovelies, own it, expand it. Play with your boundaries, adorn them with all that you love. The more you choose your limits and what limitations mean to you, the more limitless you become.
Thank you for reading and have a great month!
With much love,